In Memory of Rita Creighton

By Reba Gilman

March 21, 2008

I’m honored to speak today about my dear friend, Rita Creighton, although I would much prefer to be talking with her than about her, as I was privileged to do for 20 years.   We were the best of friends—professionally and personally, and when a few years ago she commented that she had always wished she  had a sister, I invited her to be one of mine!  As the middle sister in my own family, I was only too happy to have Rita join me in that “coveted” category, and I knew my sisters Nita and Jeanne were just as glad to have her among us! 

I must admit I’m also a bit nervous today…well, actually, I’m a lotnervous…because if you knew Rita, you knew that she was a magnificent speaker.  She could rise to any occasion…and whether she had advanced notice with months to prepare for a big event, or only seconds to respond to a tough question, the words just seemed to flow-- logically, persuasively, beautifully…and in all the years I knew Rita, I never heard her “read” a prepared speech…and in fact, she probably would have thought it rather “boring” and inappropriate to do so. 

So…Sister Rita, please forgive me for needing some added reassurance today as I talk WITH you.  As you can see, I’ve written out my thoughts and most likely, I’ll be reading much of what I’ve written because this is one tough assignment that you’ve left me to do without you!  The good news, Rita, is that this can’t possibly be a boring speech, because the words are about YOU…and you, my friend were about as far from boring as Neil Armstrong was when he stepped on the moon or Peggy Wegstaff is when she performs those amazing aerial acrobatics. 

So…Rita, it was about 20 years ago when we first met.  Remember?  It was during my first year as Principal of OSC, and I found myself on your committee to make calls to community members, urging their support of the levy.  I have to admit it wasn’t a task that I necessarily relished, and on that first evening after making about 10 calls to folks that were less than pleased to be hearing from me, I expressed my frustration to you.  I think I said something like, “This is about as exciting as watching paint dry,” or something equally pathetic.  I have never forgotten the essence of your response, which went something like this:  “Well, Reba…we aren’t exactly having a party tonight…that will come later when we pass the levy…so, for now, we just have to think of all those “no's as “maybe’s”, which are just a few steps from getting us to “yes.”  You then picked up the phone and modeled how to convert a naysayer into a believer of kids and schools.  I was amazed, Rita, and more than a little embarrassed for having been such a whiner….  Here I was, the educator, the administrator who should have been modeling for YOU how to engage our citizens in supporting schools; and instead, it was YOU, the parent, worker and citizen who was teaching me what believing in kids and their education really meant—and to you, it meant never giving up on a child and their hopes and dreams…and, therefore, you did whatever it took, including making levy calls, to ensure that children in Highline were well educated and prepared for their future.  I treasure this lesson, dear Rita, and throughout my career I’ve tried to instill this same sense of urgency and commitment in others.  You taught me that our children can’t wait for someone else to do what we all need to do now…  And along the way, I’ve even learned to enjoy making what were once those dreaded levy calls!

So…it is no wonder that you became actively involved in PTSA, at the local, state, and national levels.  Many of your PTSA friends are here today, Rita, and many have sent their condolences to your family. And you made headlines in the Washington State PTA newsletter this past week, just as you did so many times during your active involvement with this wonderful organization.    The author praised you for boldly seeing the PTA through some tough times during your tenure as president from 1999-2001.  I couldn’t help but chuckle as I read, “During the period dubbed by the media as “Y2K”, Rita urged PTA members to embrace the change that the new millennium would bring and challenged members to let everyone know that “Y2K” should really stand for “Yes 2 Kids!”   Leave it to you, Rita, to go outside the box and change the message to a more important one.  Saying “yes to kids” was your mantra and your mission throughout your entire life.  Building a better world for Children was the PTSA slogan during your tenure, and you lived it, heart and soul. 

Speaking of children…When I shared the news of your passing with our students at Aviation High School this past week, the mood was solemn. They loved you, Rita…and they knew that you loved them.  We held an assembly and paid tribute to your being my “wingman” and their Godmother.  They told stories of how you had helped them with projects and various learning activities…how you connected them with leaders in the aviation community…how you helped them gain work experiences at the airport through Opportunity Skyway and with SEAFAIR…and how you persuaded your boss, Bob Burke, to let them hold their first formal dance in the arrivals building at the airport…and then you even chaperoned the dance to make sure they would get another opportunity and you wouldn’t lose your job for letting a bunch of teenagers have such great fun!  Oh, how they loved those times, dancing to their favorite tunes and watching the planes take off with important people and cargo!  What a life!  They also praised you for arranging a presentation by the Blue Angels each August for incoming freshmen…and our seniors remembered first meeting you when they were in 8th grade and interviewing for a spot in the inaugural class…and how confident you made them feel during their very first “real” interview…and Natalie and Sokha applauded you for giving them their first jobs (which I reminded them they EARNED if they worked for you!) and they expressed their worry about how they would ever finish their culminating project without you, their mentor…and most of all, Rita, the students wanted to be here today to pay tribute to you in their own way; instead, they are at the State Robotics Competition in Tacoma, cheering on our Skunkworks Team as part of an all-school field trip that has been planned for quite some time.  I have a feeling, though, that you may have even had a hand in that…There’s no doubt that you would think that they are precisely in the right place, supporting their school and its sports of the mind team rather than being here placing the spotlight on you…but that won’t stop them from planning a special tribute to you as part of their graduation ceremonies and most importantly, ensuring that your legacy as the Matriarch of the Aviation High School family lives on for generations to come. 

You were my hero, Rita.  As I wrote in the bulletin (NOTAM) this past week, you were my “wingman” in getting Aviation High School off the ground …in fact, you were mission control in launching us, guiding our journey, and making sure there were many safe landings.    I enjoyed more rubbery chicken dinners with you than anyone I’ve ever known, as we promoted the school during the planning year…and whether we were meeting with a group of 10 or 100, you were always upbeat and positive.  You could sell blue sky like no one I’ve ever met…and I mean that kindly and literally, since during most of the time we were doing our dog and pony show, we didn’t even know where we were going to locate the school! You were undaunted, though, because you so believed in the mission and vision of the school…and as we all know, when Rita Creighton strongly believed in anything, you were a force to be reckoned with.   

And there was really only one time, Rita, when I questioned your reasoning…and that was when our friend, Dan Hartley passed away.  On the morning of Dan’s service, I headed out a bit early, thank goodness, because as I backed out of the driveway, my phone rang…and it was you, and before I could say hello, you said, “Do you have your Aviation HS brochures?”  I truly thought you had lost your ever-loving mind, Rita, as quite frankly, I thought it rather tacky to even think about promoting at a funeral!!  But I didn’t succeed at persuading you otherwise, as you were adamant that Dan would expect nothing less of me.  So, against my better judgment, I rushed by the school, picked up the brochures, and sheepishly handed them off to Rick Lenz when I arrived at the service.  I just want you to know, though, that it was another good lesson…and today, as I headed to your service, I realized that turn about is fair play…so I rushed by school and shamelessly stuck some brochures in my bag…and they’re here today for anyone who wants one, Rita!! 

The times I most enjoyed with you were our travel times, when we spent less time talking about work and more time telling stories about our children and families.  We planned Courtney’s wedding as we traveled to and from Olympia to bend the ears of our legislators…and I loved hearing the stories of Courtney’s adventures, such as Running of the Brides in New York to get a prize wedding gown…and most of all, the love story between her and Scott and the commitment that had already taken place after Scott suffered a very serious accident.   You were so proud of your darling daughter, Rita, and you also promised to keep notes about her wedding so that someday I would have a template to follow!  Courtney…find those notes, please!  There’s several of us here today that are counting on them!

I also loved hearing your stories about son, Jeff, whom you were equally proud of.  You were elated that Jeff had landed a job right out of college that had more perks and a larger salary than you or Stu could have imagined.  And you enlightened me about the differences in raising girls and boys!   Since I only have a daughter, I didn’t realize that a common trait of young boys is running with scissors, until you informed me.  So Jeff…did you ever hear your mom say that??  Well…if you did, then you also know that she said it with love and pride and with absolutely NO disrespect.  She loved that feisty spirit of yours, and she never had any doubt that you would make your mark in the world.  She truly celebrated the differences between you and your sister, pointing out to me, as well as the thousands of parents she spoke with over the years, that our children are each unique…and that’s a good thing.  She reminded me often that our kids aren’t perfect, and neither are we as parents.   We do the best we can, and as Maya Angelou is known to say, “When we know better, we do better.”

And of course, we talked about Stuart…he was your rock…your “soft place to fall,” as Dr. Phil is known to say.  You adored him, and I loved hearing about your various stages of courtship and marriage, as well as your plans for growing old together.  You were a lucky lady, Rita, and Stuart was a very fortunate man to have you by his side.  You always acknowledged both!

I mourn your passing, Rita—I was so looking forward to combining our Spode collection for one heck of a Christmas party…and when I recently learned that we had the same China pattern, I began to think that maybe we should celebrate another holiday together or take up catering…(which I quickly dismissed as too much work!)…And I can’t imagine this year’s DKG Christmas brunch without you there when dear Luella, who will be turning 92, leads us in singing her favorite carol, Away in a Manger.  Most of all, I can’t imagine your not picking up the phone when I dial 296-7431 or 431-8926. 

So…dear friend, I’m not saying goodbye…and neither are your other friends--Sherryl, Nancy, Alice, Cyndi, and all of us in this room will hold you in our hearts forever, and when we call upon you, we expect you to put on your Angel headset.  Thank you for your dignity, your grace, your love of life and family, your unyielding commitment to children and their education, your marvelous sense of humor, and your wonderful friendship for so many years.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated so well, “To laugh often and love much…to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one’s self…this is to have succeeded.”  You did it all, Rita.  We love you…and may you rest in peace.”